


Colorblind

by pacifyingtae



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Soulmate AU, TJLC, TJLC | The Johnlock Conspiracy, black and white
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:35:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8035240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pacifyingtae/pseuds/pacifyingtae
Summary: The world to everybody is only black and white, but when you meet your soulmate, it changes completely. And Sherlock might have found the one.





	Colorblind

**Author's Note:**

> There is no dialog, just in the end. Might be boring

The world was dull. Everybody got used to it because they grew up with it, but it was still dull. No colors. Just black and white. Maybe different shades, but that's it.

There was one exception and only one. People have said, that when they met the love of their life, and when they touched, the world changed, black and white disappearing. If they kept touching, the colors stayed, but if they stopped touching and being together, the colors faded and everything became black and white again. That's how you knew that you met your soulmate. You started seeing colors.

Some people have met their soulmate and lived with them happily, some had to watch love of their life share happiness with another person, and just a small amount of people never met the one.

That's how everybody lived. Getting on with their lives and waiting.

That's how Sherlock Holmes lived. Everyday waking up in question, if he will meet the one his mother told him about, or walk for another day in complete dullness. He tried not think about it that much, but he couldn't help it.

Everyday he woke up and went to work, to solve murders, mysteries. He just went off with his life, but Sherlock always fell asleep scared, that maybe he will be the little part of people who never meet their soulmates. He was scared he will never see colors. But he had to conceal his feelings, so Sherlock never really gave a bigger thought to all of this.

-

One casual day, particularly January 29th, Sherlock woke up as usual and decided to spend his day at St. Bart's. That day, Molly brought in a new body. Of course she tried to flirt with him and ask him out, but he didn't have any interest in her. Sherlock didn't have any interest in woman to be particular. It was no secret he had no interest in woman, Molly just didn't see it.

Sherlock walked back to lab to work again. When he was almost finished, he heard somebody walk in. No, two people. Slowly looking up, he saw Mike and some unfamiliar face. Sherlock could feel his heart skip a beat because of this stranger. Turns out, Mike found Sherlock a roommate.

By end of the few days and a case, Sherlock met his new roommate, John Watson.

-

John and Sherlock started to solve cases together. Sherlock couldn't help himself, but he could feel connection between them. And looking at John, Sherlock knew, that he felt the same way. They connected very quickly and in just a little amount of time.

They both got comfortable with each other really quickly. And everybody were really confused, since John had trust issues and Sherlock wasn't really social. But it just sort of happened.

-

That time when Sherlock was alone is Soo Lin's flat and was being strangled, he wanted John to save him, but of course he was so stubborn that he didn't let John in. And Sherlock actually thought he was going to die. But that didn't happen.

When Sherlock saw John in pool, he felt betrayed and he just couldn't believe it. But the bomb confirmed, that John was just another innocent person caught by Moriarty. When Moriarty let them live, he was so relieved when he removed the bomb from John's body. Something clicked in Sherlock. He realized how much he cared for John. And then Moriarty came back. Sherlock took a little glance at John and saw a person he grew up to care about. And now they decided to die together. But just a little phone call let them live again. They were given a chance for a second time.

After all of this, Sherlock looked at John from a different angle. He saw him differently. He saw John as a different person. He wanted to know him. Sherlock felt something, but he was scared. Scared that Moriarty will come back and ruin everything.

Maybe that's why Sherlock tried to stay away from John as much as possible.

Maybe that's why John thought that Sherlock was interested in Irene Adler.

Sherlock looked at John differently. He felt himself different when he looked at John. He felt this warm feeling in his chest, when he looked at those blue eyes. Smile that made his heart race. Everything about John made Sherlock happy. Just the thought of John made Sherlock smile, but he had to hide these feelings as much as possible. He thought John wasn't interested in him the way Sherlock was.

What Sherlock didn't knew was that John looked at Sherlock the same way and he felt the same. John was just scared to admit what he has been feeling because of being rejected.

And that was when Sherlock noticed that everytime he touched John or other way round, he could see colors. Not clearly, but for sure it wasn't black and white anymore. And every time they became much more brighter. Sherlock touched John on purpose to see the colors. And he could see them better everytime. Sherlock was convinced that John was his soulmate.

And then, the jump happened. People may have thought that Sherlock's tears on the rooftop were fake, but it was all too real. The thought of leaving John was breaking Sherlock inside. And he didn't even knew for how long he will be leaving.

Sherlock couldn't see John's face, but he didn't need to. He felt all emotions in John's voice.

John could feel himself die inside, when he saw Sherlock jump. His heart dropped, heart racing and breathing quickening. When he finally reached Sherlock, he saw something dark on the ground near Sherlock's head. John knew it was blood. He knew it all too well. But he just had to check for the pulse. He had to touch Sherlock. He had to see if it worked.

Sherlock wasn't the one who started seeing colors whenever he touched John. John himself started seeing them too. And he just needed to check. Sherlock couldn't be dead. He just couldn't.

But when John touched his hand, one small thing happened.

John saw colors, very bright colors for a little glimpse before he was taken away from Sherlock.

Bright colors. No pulse.

When Sherlock jumped and killed himself, he killed a big part of John too.

-

John felt everything Sherlock felt. He started seeing sings of soulmate. But John was too scared.

He wanted to say it. God how it ate him inside knowing that Sherlock will never know.

Now John was left all alone. He didn't know what to do. He felt betrayed, heartbroken. Mostly, he hated himself for not admitting what he felt to Sherlock and blamed himself for the jump. John tried to move on, he really did. But one year passed and nothing happened. John just couldn't do it.

In that one year, Sherlock travelled around killing people. He never really killed people, but every time he heard the gunshot, and Sherlock knew it was himself who shot, his inside shook and he felt sick. But he had to protect John.

John. The only thing keeping him alive. The only thought that made him go through all of this. Sherlock stayed sane, for John.

Everything he made was for John. He felt torture. A lot of it. But John kept him going. Knowing that when he will be done, he will go back to London, back to John.

One day, Sherlock got caught in Serbia. All the torture, pain, memories. Everything mixed and he didn't know what was real and what was only his memories. The only real thing was pain in his back. Every pain he has ever felt. That was real. That was it for him. He was on a verge of giving up. He couldn't think anymore, his mind shut down. It just didn't work. All hopes were lost for Sherlock Holmes.

-

_John._

The name suddenly ringed in Sherlock's head. He opened his eyes and looked up. He saw a short man with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. He came closer and looked straight into Sherlock's eyes. Pain written all over his face.

Sherlock felt so relieved when he saw John kneel in front of him and hug him. Sherlock whispered his name. And then three more words came out of his mouth.

That's when Sherlock realized. Now he knew it all. Heart racing, breath quickening, all those little touches and colors. Sherlock now knew the most important thing in his life.

Sherlock Holmes, the freak and psychopath to everybody, fell in love with John Watson, the light in his life.

That's when everything came back. His mind started to work properly. He knew what was real. He now knew. Sherlock finally accepted the fact, the he fell in love with John. And he was happy, that it is John he loves the most in the world.

_Survive. Escape._

_For John._

And Sherlock did his waiting. He waited and survived. He was saved by his brother and was brought back to London. After two years of torture.

When Sherlock came back, he couldn't wait to see John. Mycroft tried to warn him, and Sherlock himself felt that something was wrong, but he didn't want to admit that.

And why didn't Sherlock listen to his guts when he felt that something was wrong? Did he really thought John would wait for him? At least Sherlock had hopes.

But all of his hopes were crushed when he walked into a dark restaurant. When he saw John sitting with another woman and John was obviously nervous. He saw the ring on the table and Sherlock knew what was about to happen. So Sherlock felt the need to ruin it. And he did. But he didn't really expect the reaction he got.

It hurt, when John punches Sherlock. Not just physically, but John hurt Sherlock's feelings too, although Sherlock learned how to hide it very well. John also hurt Sherlock's injured back which reminded Sherlock of what happened to him to be where he is right now. And he thought to himself, that he deserved it. All of it.

Now Sherlock knew nothing ever will be the same.

-

Sherlock came back to work and it was good to be back even if it was without John.

At least he finally solved cases, one of the many things he missed.

But there was a terrorist attack. And Sherlock needed John's help. John decided to help which made Sherlock really happy. He didn't feel this happy in a long time ago.

And of course, he knew how to stop the bomb. He just wanted to apologize, but Sherlock didn't know how. He wanted to tell John how much he loved him, but Sherlock didn't know how.

And he didn't do it. Neither of them did. But they survived, they saved London.

And then the wedding came.

The planning.

Everything.

Sherlock knew that after John married Mary, he will lose John. So he slowly prepared himself. He prepared himself to know, that he will never see colors again.

It all happened so quickly.

And one month passed.

Sherlock started using drugs. He just couldn't cope with all of these emotions. He needed to stop them. He needed an escape. And he found one.

For a month.

Then John found him. And everything went downhill again.

That's when Sherlock actually died. And was shoot by the woman John chose to spend his life. That's what hurted more than the bullet inside his body.

But Sherlock knew John was in danger. That's why Sherlock came back.

Survive. Escape.

For John.

-

It was time to leave. Sherlock turned to Mycroft and gave him a little glance. Mycroft knew what Sherlock was asking for and walked away with Mary and his security guards. Sherlock turned back to look at John, while John looked around.

"John." Sherlock whispered to get John's attention.

"So, here we are." John said and gave Sherlock a little smile. Sherlock returned one back and looked down.

Say it. Say it now.

"So what about you, then?" John lifts his head. "Where are you actually going now?"

"Oh, some undercover work in Eastern Europe." Sherlock simply answers.

"For how long?" John asks again. Sherlock looks slightly above John's head to not meet his eyes.

"Six months, my brother estimates. He's never wrong."

"And then what?" Sherlock meets his gaze for a moment, then looks down thoughtfully before raising his head and gazing off into the distance. He simply shrugs.

"Who knows?" John nods and then turns away to look across the airfield again as if he will see anything, breathing in deeply. Sherlock looks directly at him until he turns back, then looks down again.

"John, there's something ... I should say; I-I've meant to say always and then never have. Since it's unlikely we'll ever meet again, I might as well say it now." He hesitates for a long time, then draws in a deep breath and raises his eyes to John's.

But no words come out. Sherlock just slowly walks closer to John and slightly bends down to reach for John's hand. When their hands collide, their heart races quicken. Sherlock looks around and everything is so clear now. He sees every colors so bright and he knows why. He finally knows. He smiles and looks down at John who is staring at him, his pupils dilated.

"Do you see it too?" Sherlock whispers to John. John slowly looks around. Then his eyes find Sherlock's again and he silently says:

"What do you mean?" and that's when Sherlock's world came crushing down. That's when Sherlock's smile dropped. That was the moment Sherlock knew that John was his soulmate, but Sherlock isn't John's.  Because John is happy with another woman he chose to spend his life with.

Sherlock just slowly backed away and walked into the plane without another word.

When the plane was up in the sky, Sherlock let his tears go. He was shaking and silently crying, trying to wipe away the tears, but there were just more coming.

John was Sherlock's soulmate.

But Sherlock wasn't John's.

**Author's Note:**

> This story has a sequel, which is called "Colourblind No More".
> 
> Or you can find it here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8231716/chapters/18865003


End file.
